Something about this day reminds me of a day a few years back. I drove the youngest, just sixteen at the time, to drama practice. We didn’t speak out our angry, hurting words, and a twenty minute drive felt like driving nails into our dying relationship.
We’d recently learned that our youngest had chosen drugs over life and a future.
That last sentence makes my bones ache.
We lived through that battle. We lived through five years of that horrific battle, and now we’re more than five years out.
Our youngest fought all the way back to life, and I’m grateful.
But those memories.
They’re like a stain I can’t remove in a garment I’ll never throw out.
The value of those lessons, the scars that remind us of battles won, the healing- all of them woven in like patterns in fabric.
I fight new battles now, and I find it’s much harder to fight just for myself. I wrap myself in worry and weary and somehow, forget battles won. Defeat becomes a name. But then, I get a reminder, a game changer.
Today, this song is the reminder, and the words are like putting on armor, reminding me I’m not alone. They’re weapons at the ready, clashing with the challenges faced. They’re life giving, breathing life back into the warrior, giving life and breath and strength for the fight today.
Memory verses from that battle for the loved child are dusted off and added for this battle weary soul. They’re re-breathed and re-lived and the they’re soul re-newing.
Here’s the song- because maybe you’re battle weary too. You’re not alone. Fight the the good fight.
We’re not defeated. This is how we fight our battles.
We are warriors on our knees.