In a Facebook post I read this morning, a mom listed the things she wanted her daughters to know, and this got me thinking.
There are things I want my kids to know too. There are things I want them to know that I said, but the thing is, I didn’t say them all. At least not until now.
So this is that post. It may be one of many. There are a lot of things I’d like to say even though the sons are all grown, and married, or soon to be married.
And believe me, it’s not that I haven’t said a lot of stuff, because I have, and I’ve said some things I regret saying.
But there are things I want to say for possibly the first time, or a little better, or louder, or more often, like–
I love you. I’m proud of you. You stole a piece of my heart the day you were born. You are the best memory I will ever have.
There’s so much more that there’s got to be a list, but first some confessions to my sons. Not that there won’t be more, but here are a few to start this off.
- You know that time you spilled your milk across the table and it ran down into the rope weave of the chair seat, down the table legs, and onto the floor, and it took so long to clean up, and I got mad at you and yelled? I’m so sorry.
- I’m still working on that patience thing.
- The way your smile reaches your eyes makes my heart ache.
- I still love the way you curl your hair around your finger when you’re tired.
- The way you love your wife fills me with incomprehensible joy.
- Do you remember all those times I dropped you off at daycare? I hated every single one of those days. I wanted to be one of those moms who’s good at staying home. I wasn’t so much.
- I wish we had gone camping instead of making you play baseball.
- We should have put you in theater for kids. You are so talented.
- You are truly funny, and I wish you smiled more.
- I wish I’d said those bedtime prayers with you every single night.
- I wish I’d spent more time reading with you and less time watching television.
- I wish I’d spent less time worrying about what others thought of my momming skills and spent more time impressing you.
- Remember when you wanted to plant your own plants in the garden? I should have let you.
- I’m sorry we didn’t keep that dog you loved.
- You were a great kid, but you’re an even better man. I’m still so proud to be your mom.
- Momming is still hard. I wish there were do-overs.
- The way you challenge yourself scares me to death and makes me silly proud of you all at the same time.
- Your tenacity, courage, and strength are character traits I love most about you.
- The way you look at me with grown man wisdom takes my breath away.
- I love that you love God more than I taught you to. That’s huge to me now.
I’m sorry these thoughts aren’t in any kind of order. They’re kind of like the way I raised three grown boys– seat of my pants, random luck of the draw, taking lots of chances, and praying they’d forgive me for the mess. So, that’s all for now, because this listing business is turning out to be hard stuff.
With every bit of my heart,
More listing next time…